Dude Gets Fined $124 For Kicking A Seagull That Tried To Eat His Cheeseburger

HAMPTON, N.H. (AP) — A man accused of kicking a seagull that tried to eat his cheeseburger at a New Hampshire beach has been fined $124. Police investigated the report from a bystander at Hampton Beach earlier this summer. NH1 reports the man Nate Rancloes, said he had just returned from getting a cheeseburger and fries and was sitting on the sand. He said seagulls got to the burger, and he spun around with his leg to shoo one away, but struck the bird. He said it was a simple mistake.

Fuck that bird man. The seagull shouldn’t have been standing there if it didn’t wanna get kicked. Mess with my cheeseburger, you’re getting kicked. If that bird had just minded it’s own business then it wouldn’t have gotten kicked in the face. Simple as that. How are they gonna fine this guy for defending his cheeseburger? That couldn’t be more backwards. We’d all do the same thing. What’s next? Are we gonna start fining people who get mugged too? Are we gonna start fining businesses that get robbed? Slippery slope. Makes zero sense. That $124 fine sure seems like victim shaming if you ask me. Just because it’s an animal it has different rights? #NotMyEarth. We’re all equal.

Not to mention that seagulls are a menace to society. We should get rid of all of them. Have you ever been around city seagulls? They’re evil. They’re dive bombers. They’re trained killers. If you eat anything near a bunch of seagulls you gotta keep your head on a swivel. That cheeseburger or lobster roll or churro or street meat or baby will be snatched from your hands before you know what happened. Seagulls are dangerous, nasty beasts. So with that in mind, this guy should have gotten fined for his actions. The opposite should’ve happened. He should’ve received a medal for his bravery.